A meditation on the ache of discipleship

I asked to be discipled
not entertained
not befriended
but formed.

I saw Christ in a man,
and I asked him
to help me grow.
he said, “Okay, Larry—
I’ll be your friend.”
and I was crushed.

Not because friendship is small,
but because discipleship is sacred
and he did not see the difference.

There is no chain
no line of disciples who disciple
no living link
between the called and the willing.

Churches are full.
Programs abound.
But the soul who says,
“Will someone walk with me?”
often walks alone.

And so I learned:
Discipleship must be chosen.
It must be costly.
It must be offered
by those who have been formed themselves.

I did not stop seeking.
And now,
I shape lanterns for others.
Not because I was discipled,
but because I know the ache of not being.

The chain is broken.
Still I will be a link.

The Ordinary Path
is lit
for those who seek mercy,
memory,
and meaning.

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No need for eloquence.
No need for certainty.
Just a lantern,
gently placed.